Ashley Giles the Borat of Spain

Oh it’s cruel, it’s painfully cruel

Ashley Giles is Borat

Courtesy of The Ashes Blog who provide the following reasons Ashley Giles should continue playing for England:

1. He makes James Anderson look threatening.

2. His bowling average is almost as good as Matthew Hayden’s batting average.

3. As the Personal Life Coach for Ricky Ponting, Ashley Giles felt that the Australian captain was in desperate need of a bit of encouragement, so he sacrificially dropped that catch on the boundary. But that’s just the sort of kind, generous guy that he is.

4. His Royal Highness brings a certain amount of class and dignity into the England team. Well, they need to make up for Kevin Pietersen’s presence somehow.

So please, keep Ashley playing, and make benefit glorious King of Spain.

Aim below

My editor told me about this sign appearing in the Adelaide dunnies yesterday, which is now doing the rounds. This photo courtesy of the BBC Test Match Special team out there, and Gideon Haigh mentioned it yesterday in his blog.

If you do miss

Test Match Special.

Interview with Billy Birmingham

Rod’s in Adelaide pretending to work and spotted Billy Birmingham on the radio which you can download at his blog. Superb. Birmingham’s new 12th Man album is out today.

Those bally fine chaps from the antipodes

If an advert like this appeared on a bus in Britain, slagging off the Aussues, the transport company would be sued on the spot (by the Australian embassy, firstly, followed by the Equality For All Things With Four Wheels movement).

Shuper advert that, though.

Aussie humour makes me smile


Ashes stars in your office

Michael Tormey, Tom Noble and Nick Place write:

Flintoff: (Warehouse Stock Coordinator): If he ever has a day off sick, the place will fall apart. Or to use a cricket analogy: if he doesn’t take all the wickets and score all the runs, it’s just not going to happen.

Harmison (Creative Director): Big reputation, big salary – has to be carried by rest of the team.

Watson (IT Manager): Offers key solutions to all problems but keeps crashing. Hamstrung by software problems.

Warnie: (PR Director): Always on the phone, always spinning something, always out for long lunches. A genius. Regularly embarrasses himself at the office Christmas party.

Pietersen (New Business Manager): The young bull, poached from rival company, who can star on occasions but ego might be a problem.

McGrath (Production Line Manager): The 70-year-old manager who just can’t let go and you know what, is still better than the kids out of uni trying to take his job.

S. Clark (Assistant Workflow Manager): Not rated, hangs around in the warehouse, and you suddenly realise he’s been singlehandedly holding contracts together for the past 12 months.

Langer (Accounts): Accident-prone 67-year-old veteran with a head for figures. Refuses to retire. Somehow keeps up with changes to GST and other tax legislation. Likes martial arts.

Martyn (Retail Manager): The irritating but smooth bloke you’re always trying to get rid of but customers love him and he sells just enough to keep his place.

G. Jones (Office Assistant): The PA you feel a bit sorry for because he has no idea, but the boss likes him and will give him time to develop. Who knows? He may even make a competent middle manager one day.

Lee (Sales Executive): The face of the company with a big laugh, a flash car and charisma to burn. Does he ever sell anything? No idea.

Ponting (Managing Director): There were early question marks over his commitment and longevity in the company, but he’s matured and now is responsible for more than half the company’s turnover all by himself, while also managing the office.

Giles (Assistant Marketing Manager): Been at the company for years, nobody likes him, nobody rates what he does. Must have compromising photos of the boss to keep his job.

Vaughan (CEO): Allegedly in charge but hasn’t been seen around the office for months. His shadow remains.

Bell (Accounts Manager): The university graduate with the Rhodes Scholarship who has now been with the firm for more than a year, lords over the blue collar workers but is yet to actually deliver when it matters.

MacGill (Marketing Manager): Annoying worker who wants to be PR Director but can’t get a shot at the job. Request for office car and phone rejected. Attends Anger Management courses.

Panesar (Intern): Always smiling, keen, energetic, model employee. Strangely overlooked for promotion at every turn.

Hair (Company Secretary): Recently retrenched (suddenly). Last seen being led from the building by security.

TV reporter gets hit by bouncer (video)

I shouldn’t find this as funny as I do. See here.

“Warney, put your wanga away”

Dunno why I’ve not heard or seen this before, but it’s a bit good. The limited lyrics are not Lennon-beating lines of genius, which is probably why I enjoy it so much. They include things like:

“So Warney…put your wanga away
That pecker’s gonna get you into trouble one day”

It’s basically an Australian Chas and Dave. And his name? Kevin Bloody Wilson. Click here if you can’t see/hear the video below.

A Family Legacy (short cricket film)

We’ve been musing about Youtube recently at work, and are constantly baffled by the amount of stuff on the site. It really is mad.

But until now I hadn’t come across any short films (cricket-based)…this is well worth watching if you’ve 10 minutes spare. Some funny moments and a pretty good Richie Benaud impression (equally good impersonation of a kiwi commentator too!). Click here if you can’t see the video below.

DJ Desmond Haynes

Desmond Haynes as you’ve never (I guess) seen him before.

Click here if you can’t see the video below.

Utter legend.

RIP Australian cricket

There was a story doing the rounds on September 12 that Marstons, the English brewery and now official “drink of England,” had run some adverts in the Australian press cheekily reminding them of losing the Ashes 12 months ago. I emailed the marketing manager who sent me the PDFs which are below for your enjoyment (or annoyance, if you’re Australian)

The death of Australian cricket

The death of Australian cricket

My boss has done a few lines on this in his The Week That Was for Monday. And Marstons, bless’em, have even given us a whole stack of beer to give away during the Ashes as competition prizes. So stay tuned.