Bill Lawry: it’s backyard cricket war

Any excuse to put up a video involving Bill Lawry, the most impersonated man at Cricinfo Towers. Ford, who sponsor all Cricket Australia vehicular needs, are declaring “Backyard Cricket War” on the country. I’m not quite sure what that means, but there are two videos to show featuring Michael Clarke, Andrew Symonds, Mike Hussey…and Matthew Hayden in an apron.

Look out for Bill’s cameo at the end of the second.

One-zip

As ever, visit the site if you can’t see the videos above.[via]

Black guys running all over the pitch…

God bless Bill Lawry

Click here if you can’t hear the gaffe.

Life after Benaud

On Desert Island Discs, you are allowed one luxury. Given mine would be a magical television that showed all available live cricket (as well as choice re-runs), I’d be able to pick my favourite pundits to describe the action. Who are my top commentators? In theory, I would only need two to cover the matches, but that would be unfair on them (I’m not a tyrant), so I’d hire five to mix it up and give the others a rest.

Richie Benaud in the comm box

Therefore, below are my five favourite commentators. Benaud would have been there, of course, as would Brian Johnston, but we must all move on. There are honourable mentions for Lloyd, Gower, Holding, Dujon, Nasser, Knight, Ward, Smith, Lawry and Greig, but these five pick themselves.My Top Five: Michael Atherton, Jimmy Adams, Michael Slater, Geoff Boycott and Simon Hughes.

I can’t imagine anyone will disagree, but then it’s your island. Pick who you like!

Super effort, that; a video or choo to chew over

“Check one choo, check one choo.” Richie, Tony and Bill are back…well, not really. The video is a brilliant mashup of the latest 12th Man and actual footage of the last horrorshow train-wreck Ashes series. Courtesy of Mr Miller who somehow has found his way back to Blighty.

Click here if you can’t see it above.

Boned: The 12th Man

Buy Boned: The 12th Man by Billy Birmingham

I’ve often mentioned Billy Birmingham’s 12th Man Tapes here, and most (not all) of Cricinfo’s editorial team are complete addicts. We heard from the latest Australian member of the team, Brydon, that Birmingham is releasing a new album in time for Christmas which got the biggest cheer of the day. Fantastic news.

Billy Birmingham on a sofa

Called Boned, it contains all the usual stuff with Richie Benaud, Tony Greig, Bill Lawry and Ian Chappell. It’s going to be immense – Amazon are doing pre-orders so buy it now.



The Sydney Morning Herald have an interview with Birmingham who begins with what could be Quote of the Century.

“I’m all over the place like a suicide bomber’s sandshoe,” he tells The Sun-Herald.

“There’s so much material. The drama has been trying to cut it all down so it fits onto a double album.”

The 12th Man’s catalogue stands at almost 2million units sold. Have no doubt about Boned!becoming the biggest-selling album at Christmas. All six previous albums from The 12th Man have reached No.1 on the ARIA chart, making Birmingham the only Australian recording artist to have reached top spot with every one of his releases.

“It couldn’t have happened in any other country,” he says. “We’re a nation of sports nuts and piss-takers and all I’ve done is combine the two.”

McGuire telephones Benaud and tells him he’s been boned: the term bandied about when the real-life McGuire was thinking about sacking Channel Nine presenter Jessica Rowe. That night, Richie dreams that he telephones Kerry Packer in heaven and the former Nine boss tells him to fight the good fight against McGuire. Benaud, Ian Chappell, Tony Greig, Bill Lawry, Mark Nicholas and the rest of the commentators storm Martin Place in Sydney with a petition to get their jobs back.

Vaughan and Jones could return – Ponting

“You’ve got to remember those guys have been ruled out a long time ago and there is still a few months to go before the series,” Ponting said yesterday.

“It’s a long time to get over any sort of injury. I’m pretty sure they will want Vaughan and Jones here if they can get them here. We are preparing to play a full-strength side.”

Come off it! Vaughan’s finished, everyone knows that. But I don’t know what to make of this. Either he’s stirring, or he genuinely thinks both players could return. He’s desperate, isn’t he, to have the exact same England side which beat them last year. He wants a copybook series but a 4-0 result. He’s hurting, still. Am I reading too much into all this?

And look. Legends, one and all. Tony Greig and Bill Lawry on the right, who we at Cricinfo religiously imitate almost every day without fail

Ricky Ponting, Michael Slater, Tony Greig and Bill Lawry

Update: for those preferring proper sentences I’ve written it up on Cricinfo

Funny names

I’m a bit of a fan of funny names and general wordplayage, so it was with great and splendid delight that I finally got round to buying 12th Man (mentioned the other day, actually). In it, Tony Greig, Bill Lawry, Richie Benaud and friends commentate on various games…with some ridiculous, always hilarious and often massively rude names. It’s utter bloody brilliance, and I’d urge you to buy it immediately. I haven’t laughed so much in ages! Then again, I do love purile humour (“And he’s gone for a slash just outside off stump…you really can’t be allowed to do that, the puddle…” etc)

The less rude ones include Kartis Arminhalf, Ramatunga DownaThroata, Wayne King, Hugh Jarse, Brendan Kangaroopoo and Cock Sarker. Not to mention the Sri Lankan spinner, SmellabitofaRatna, and the Indian opener Sunil Haveascar. Oh and IwannaUse Yadunny and Mekarsa Bitrusty, those two splendid middle-order Australians. Who can forget Ilarva Cornishpasty and Snake Sharma too?

Anyway, time for some fun. Let’s draw up a list of alternative names, the ruder and funnier the better. I’ll start it off with two very fine England prospects; Piston Broke and Mebats Snappedinalf.