The Indians who can do it all

Being a cricket journalist while on holiday in India has its advantages, no doubt. Most people I encounter are keen to know my job (and even more importantly which company employs me), and quite a few know of Cricinfo and are desperate, it seems, to prove their cricketing worth. One young chap today (whose friendly nature threatened to descend into irritating begging) is surely the future of Indian cricket, if not the world.

He bowls leg-spin better than Shane Warne and models his off-spinner’s doosra on Murali; he opens the bowling at the speed of light, not unlike Darren Gough apparently; he keeps wicket with the feline-feet of Alan Knott (!) and bats like Marcus Trescothick, Michael Warne (it’s the accent, but I couldn’t help chuckling) and Adam Gilchrist. A killer player, then, if fantastical.

Watch out for him. He, and the identical dozen other youngsters who I’ve come across, will be dominating the world shortly…

The Nilgiri Mountains

The Geoffrey Oi!cotts (disGrace on bass; Alan Knott on drums)

Further to Scott’s post, and Andrew’s piece, comes this example of YouTube at its brilliant, bizarre best. Among the historical gems, a lot of the other videos there are fairly drab’n’dull recollections of fans playing village cricket. Boring. But searching for “cricket” throws up the odd seemingly inexplicable video, such as this: a band called the Geoffrey Oi!cotts. Their MySpace entry reveals the following:

Band Members
Freddy Skintoft (vocals) W.C. disGrace (bass) A.P.E. sKnott (drums) Devon Malcolm McClaren (guitar) The Dickie Birds (backing troupe and groupies)

Influences
Yorkshire pride.

Sounds Like
The thwack of willow on leather on a sunny yorkshire afternoon..

Record Label
hahahahahaha

What a brilliant image that is. Alan Knott on drums (still equipped with wicketkeeping gloves, and a toothy grin); Devon Malcolm, massive 1980s bottle-top glasses, attached to a Fender and – best of all? – several Dickie Birds, rolling up their sleeves and tottering in the background. The Geoffrey Oi!cotts, based in Leeds, also do a passable cover of the Cockney Rejects’ only decent song, Oi! Oi! Oi!, as below (click here if it doesn’t show up).

All of this musicery begs the question: which five cricketers, past or present, would be in your band? The stupider, most unlikely the better. Tony Lewis would have to be lead vocalist for a start, closely followed by Mike Smith on drums…