Golden balls

Gutted about the latest no-show from the West Indies, although I guess that if England can’t win a Test match in early season freezing Headingley against a team of under-prepared novices from the Caribbean, then we never will. Hardly a level playing field.

Of course, it wasn’t just England handing out a thumping this weekend. India gained some sort of revenge for the ignominious defeat at the World Cup, by dismantling Bangladesh. At 408 for 0, has there ever been a worse decision to bowl first? (Well, yes, Nasser, probably…)

My sympathies go to Javed Omar. A first ball duck is never a good feeling, as I reminded myself in a 20-20 match last week. I’ve earned the Primary Club tie on my mantlepiece many times over (five, at least), but I’ll put another note in their online bucket (www.primaryclub.org) for good measure. I’ve also got two diamond ducks (first ball of the innings) on my CV, which is enough disappointment for one lifetime, I hope. Can anyone better that?

Poor old Javed can, I’m sure, as he bagged two in the match. Has that ever happened before? In fact, what do you call that? Is it a King Diamond Pair? Or a Sapphire Pair? Did anyone see the commentary – I suspect someone answered that at the time?

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