Noel Edmonds in boat shocker

Again, I should be working for The Sun. There was no boat shocker, but I did have my enormous lens with me just in case. Here’s the bearded wonder (not that one – I doubt anyone would notice him anyway) climbing aboard a small dingy with Nick The Skipper (that’s not his real name. The Nick bit is, obviously), who for some reason my family seem to know. They know everyone here. You have to, apparently…

I didn’t shout “Deal or no deal!” or have any empty boxes with me – and no, I didn’t have (my) Mr Blobby costume at hand either. I didn’t shout “Oi Edmonds, you’re sh**!” as my mate pleaded me to…but I did wait with baited breath for him to fall in the sea, take the photo and sell it for thousands. Sadly it didn’t happen and I’m still skint.

Noel Edmonds...go on, fall in

Noel Edmonds

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