Help us. We’re bleeding boredom

Jolly splendid teams though they are, me and my boss are absolutely suicidally bored watching South Africa against New Zealand. We would welcome any amusing tales, jokes, limericks. I’ve resorted to whistling Rolf Harris tunes (I only know one), and mumbling nonsense. To make matters worse, the bloody clouds have lifted here in London and it’s horribly blue and sunny outside. How dare it be so inviting.

Help us.

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