Michael Tormey, Tom Noble and Nick Place write:
Flintoff: (Warehouse Stock Coordinator): If he ever has a day off sick, the place will fall apart. Or to use a cricket analogy: if he doesnâ€™t take all the wickets and score all the runs, itâ€™s just not going to happen.
Harmison (Creative Director): Big reputation, big salary â€“ has to be carried by rest of the team.
Watson (IT Manager): Offers key solutions to all problems but keeps crashing. Hamstrung by software problems.
Warnie: (PR Director): Always on the phone, always spinning something, always out for long lunches. A genius. Regularly embarrasses himself at the office Christmas party.
Pietersen (New Business Manager): The young bull, poached from rival company, who can star on occasions but ego might be a problem.
McGrath (Production Line Manager): The 70-year-old manager who just canâ€™t let go and you know what, is still better than the kids out of uni trying to take his job.
S. Clark (Assistant Workflow Manager): Not rated, hangs around in the warehouse, and you suddenly realise heâ€™s been singlehandedly holding contracts together for the past 12 months.
Langer (Accounts): Accident-prone 67-year-old veteran with a head for figures. Refuses to retire. Somehow keeps up with changes to GST and other tax legislation. Likes martial arts.
Martyn (Retail Manager): The irritating but smooth bloke youâ€™re always trying to get rid of but customers love him and he sells just enough to keep his place.
G. Jones (Office Assistant): The PA you feel a bit sorry for because he has no idea, but the boss likes him and will give him time to develop. Who knows? He may even make a competent middle manager one day.
Lee (Sales Executive): The face of the company with a big laugh, a flash car and charisma to burn. Does he ever sell anything? No idea.
Ponting (Managing Director): There were early question marks over his commitment and longevity in the company, but heâ€™s matured and now is responsible for more than half the companyâ€™s turnover all by himself, while also managing the office.
Giles (Assistant Marketing Manager): Been at the company for years, nobody likes him, nobody rates what he does. Must have compromising photos of the boss to keep his job.
Vaughan (CEO): Allegedly in charge but hasnâ€™t been seen around the office for months. His shadow remains.
Bell (Accounts Manager): The university graduate with the Rhodes Scholarship who has now been with the firm for more than a year, lords over the blue collar workers but is yet to actually deliver when it matters.
MacGill (Marketing Manager): Annoying worker who wants to be PR Director but canâ€™t get a shot at the job. Request for office car and phone rejected. Attends Anger Management courses.
Panesar (Intern): Always smiling, keen, energetic, model employee. Strangely overlooked for promotion at every turn.
Hair (Company Secretary): Recently retrenched (suddenly). Last seen being led from the building by security.