Shock news from South Africa

The shock news from South Africa this morning (afternoon) is Ray Jennings, dickensien-coach, sadist and all-round-ecentric, has complimented a sportsman. What makes this even more suprising is the sportsman in question is an Englishman. Sources close to the South African squad suggest Ray missed his daily injections, having hit his nurse on the head with a cricket ball. More news when we get it.