It’s been fun, but…

Was scribbling some thoughts down earlier on this summer…it’s all very tongue in cheek.

Can’t we just leave it here? 2-1 is a fair result for all concerned, and five Test series are so 1990. I, for one, am not sure I can stand another five days of it; I’m in the unarguably fortunate position of writing and blogging about one of the most exciting Ashes series memorable. Which is
exactly our problem. What do we write? What do we say? I say, leave it here; Australia, swallow your pride and prepare for the next one.

Yes yes, I jest – Australia could never swallow their pride, but the fact remains that we have another coronary-inducing Test to get through. And they’re becoming quite a mission for the spectator and scribe. Before I started working for Cricinfo, entire days would revolve around a Test; has the portable radio got batteries? Is my phone charged up? Cat? Get off the TV – in fact, cat, get out of the house, you’ll only get trampled upon. Is there enough liquid libation in the fridge, in the event of a dramatic win (or, indeed, a depressing loss)?

All that’s changed; I sit at my desk, with the TV in my peripheral vision, nervously and pathetically fumbling for the keyboard as my Editor asks me to write a piece. Then, people like Steve Harmison decide to bowl a slower ball to Michael Clarke; just when you’re about to do the final bits of the day’s events, Clarke doesn’t pick it up and suddenly I’m jumping up and down
like a clown on acid. This is simply unfair, and someone needs to be called to account.

Andrew Flintoff, regardless of what you may think, is not the great man you all think he is. He could’ve mopped up this series with his eyes closed. And Brett Lee too, for that matter – in fact, especially Brett Lee. Twice, now, he’s larked around at the crease grinning like a buffoon and, clearly, relishing every moment of the torture he is inflicting upon an entire nation. Two nations, in fact. Isn’t this treason, or something equally criminal? It’s not so much the act of defiance as the notion that he’s enjoying it. They all are. If we’re losing our sanity watching the cricket, the players all lost it back in July.

I’m getting a little tired of these apparently unscripted and unplanned-for “tight Tests.” We want to be the steam-rollers, much as we were steam-rollered not so long ago. And I fear for the many new fans who have crossed the boundary, to the dark side of following the England cricket
team. Gentleman, and indeed Ladies, do not be fooled. It all seems easy, and victory will forever taste sweet, but we are in a very dangerous situation. Never have I, nor indeed many of my colleagues, been in this situation of England dominating an Ashes series – and quite frankly, I can’t guarantee how we will react. I don’t even know how to start celebrating. Oh, it’s all very uncomfortable.

So let’s just leave it here. 2-1. Hurrah! England have won. We can all go home and relax watching our videos of England being hammered by, well, everyone. This clown has had enough tension for one season.

On a similar line, what has been your Moment Of The Summer?

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